The Outdoorsy Me

I think I like the outdoors more and more.  I never pegged myself for an outdoorsy type girl but I have found a lot of enjoyment in being outside hiking and running and I look forward to taking the boys fishing with their new fishing poles they received from their grandma on Easter.  I have been wanting to buy them a tent even if it's just to use in the backyard.  I saw one online at Walmart and I'm gonna get it one day.


Problem is, the Husband, who has retired from being a soldier, doesn't do camping.  Strange, huh?  Maybe, but I guess being forced to live in the elements has completely turned him off and refuses to take the kids camping.  And if you've every seen me in nature, with bugs and heat and wild animals, you KNOW I couldn't do it by myself, so it looks like camping... real camping... may not be in the cards anytime soon. 


So, for now, I simply have to enjoy the outdoors any way I can get it.  Right now, that's walking or hiking the Augusta Canal or the Grovetown Euchee Trails.  Both of these places are so serene and peaceful and gives me just enough outdoorsy stuff to scratch my itch, but not over kill that might have me running and screaming in a panic from snakes or killer rabid racoons.

Isn't this beautiful?!?

6 Months Down, a Lifetime of Healing To Go

Yesterday marked 6 months since my dad passed away.  It doesn't hurt any less.  It's still hard to believe that he's gone.  I still expect him to call me to check up on the kids or show up for holiday weekends.  I still have trouble talking about him without crying, so for the most part, I don't.  I've internalized a lot of my emotion for the past 6 months.  I evade conversations about it altogether.  Not healthy, but it hurts less this way.  I pull up the videos in my phone from when he was in the hospital before he passed and even though this is the last way I saw him, it's not the person I remember most.  I'm thankful for the memories.  The memories from the last few years were the best because these were the years where I learned to appreciate him more.  It's funny how knowing you're going to  lose someone sooner than you're suppose to can change your relationship. 


The last 6 months haven't been easy.  I started off just being angry. I was angry with God for taking him away.  Angry at Him for making my dad suffer so much in his last 9 month.  Angry because he didn't heal him.  I was just downright angry.

I was angry with my dad because I felt like he wasn't there with me.  You know how people say they can feel their deceased loved ones with them at some point?  I never have.  He's gone and that's just it.  No signs from beyond.  No "Ghost" moments.  No pennies floating through the air.  Nothing.  He is gone and that's all there is to it. 

I've been angry with myself for not making better decisions while he was alive.  The shoulda-woulda-couldas took over.  I shoulda stayed in Georgia and not moved with Arizona, knowing he was so sick.  I took his grandkids away from him and that coulda had a negative impact on him more than we know.  Every time we talked, he asked when we were coming back.  I shoulda had the kids to call more.  I always said I would have them call, but all to often our busy lives took over and they didn't talk to him as much as I wish they had.  I shoulda pushed harder for him to go to the proton treatment center my cousin had recommended.  Coulda made him go somehow.  Shoulda ignored his stubbornness to stay with his doctors and pushed him to get better care.  I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but it's really hard not to.

It doesn't help that the world around me seems to have so much going on.  It doesn't help that I've lost 3 additional family members since then.  It doesn't help that it seems that cancer is impacting so many people's lives around me.  I just want to scream, "ENOUGH, LORD!  I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!"  

But today marks a new era.  A new phase and a count down to one year.  And while I know, it won't always be easy, I'm counting on better days and a road to recovery for me.  I know it will take a long time to heal from the hurt of losing a parent, but I'm hoping that soon I can stop hurting and start healing.

Hobby Lobby Field Trip

I took all three kiddos to Hobby Lobby last night to buy the things I need for the poodle skirt I'm making for Miss Missy for the 50s Sock Hop Daddy-Daughter Dance on Friday. I fully expected an all out whine feat from the boys. Quiet the contrary! They LOVED the store from the time they walked through the door! The ooooo's and aaaaaah's were amazing as they walked through the store talking about the things they wanted to decorate their rooms with and put in our future home? You know, the one that will have a movie room, a man cave and a game room? Yes they have it all planned out! They talked about how great the store was, how much they loved the stuff and how organized it was. They kept talking about how they couldn't wait to come back. Yes, they are 10 and 13!

They didn't mind looking at fabric because there were so many prints and they had ideas for what they wanted me to make for them. And when we moved on to the area with model cars and science kits, I swear I hear heaven's harps begin playing around them as their jaws dropped and they kept telling me how cool everything was!

Oh how I missed Hobby Lobby! There wasn't one I Sierra Vista. There was nothing even close. And they didn't really remember the store because I only went when they were in school when we were here in Augusta 2 years ago.

So on to the poodle skirt. I have two days to do this skirt. Never have I actually completed a project in such a short time. Never have I actually completed many projects period. I literally dusted off my sewing machine. It hasn't been used in at least 3 years. This is going to be really interesting!!

An Amazing Kid and He's All Mine!

CJ and I were sitting in the living room watching TV and something came on, a commercial, but I can't remember exactly what it was about, but it was a contest with the prize of $10,000.  I jokingly told CJ that he needed to enter that contest so he could win that money.  Told him he could then buy as many shoes as he wanted.  (He's been hinting about his shoes getting small and wanting a new pair)  I tell him that if he wins, he can have $5000 and the other half is mine. 

Fully expecting him to say "NO!  It's all mine!"  I had to smile when he laughed at my proposition and said, "Naaa, that's too much.  Maybe I would take $1000, give Cameron and Kennedy both $1000 and you and dad can have the rest.  I can buy a lot of shoes with a $1000, even though I might only spend save and save some... or probably save it for college." 

My kids are pretty awesome.  I was amazed by the fact that he's thinking of saving for college at 13, but even more amazed by his generosity, not just with me, but the fact that he include his brother and sister in the equation made me HIGH FIVE my son and tell him just how awesome he is. 

Contagion in the House

No matter what the weather is today, it's a great morning.  After the last few days I had, the fact that I can get out of the bed is great.  It's been a rough road in the Wise has as we have been battling a BUG.  It started with the boys on Monday night, I think.  Pretty sudden onset as we were going along just nicely and then when it was time to get ready for bed, then BAM!  Cam comes into the room with stomach cramps. 

"Mom, my stomach hurts so bad," he wines, balling up in the fetal position on my bed.
Now, being then loving mother that I am,  I respond with, "Boy, ain't nothin' wrong with you!  You were just in here playing and when I say take a bath you wanna act like you're sick!"

"But it dooooes," he wines.  "I went to the bathroom and it started hurting really bad! Can I have some Pepto pills?"  

Okay, now I'm irritated because I have to get off of Facebook (which I'd hidden under my school dashboard screen, you know, to pretend like I was doing something productive...) to get up and find my poor son some medicine.

So I gave the boy a chewable Pepto and sent him off to bed with all of his whining.

Okay, in my defense, you have to understand that Cam is the kind of child that wines over everything.  He is very dramatic with his sicknesses and you'd think that he was going to pass out every time he gets a hang nail.  We've been back to this school a little over a month and he has been in the Nurse's office at least 4 times, that I know about, already.  Needless to say, if he knows no one else in that school, he will be very familiar with the nurse, and usually my number is on speed dial.

So off to bed I send him, only to wake up to him getting very aquainted with the porcelain bowl. As always, he didn't make it to the bathroom and I ended up cleaning blankets and carpets in the middle of the night. 

"I told you I was sick," he says to me, with his head in the bowl.  

And as I'm cleaning up what had to be the worst pile of puke ever (we'd had stake and collard greens for dinner), I look at him and tell him, "Why must you always have me up with you when you're sick?  No one gets up with me when I'm sick."

He smiles and say, "Well, that's part of being a mom."

Boy, is he lucky I love him.

After about the 3rd time of getting out of the bed, Cam decided that the best place for him was the bathroom floor, so that's where he took him blanket and pillow for easy access.

5am rolls around and I hear someone roaming the downstairs.  As I get up to head down to investigate, I see Cam still sleeping in the bathroom and CJ coming up the stairs.

"Mom, my stomach hurts really bad."

Great.

Well, both boys were taken to see the doctor, as I wasn't sure if they had food poisoning or something else.  We'd eaten at a buffet the night before, so you never know.  

A really bad virus is going around apparently.  

Later that night, we're watching Contagion which we'd rented from Netflix and boy does that movie make you THINK about what you touch and what you're passing around!  Perfect timing, because during the movie, I also had become quite acquainted with the porcelain bowl...      










 

Are We There Yet?!?!?!

Road trip! It's been a tough couple of months for the family. Today we're heading to Michigan to bury my uncle Sterling, just 5 months after burying my dad.

The kids are driving me crazy with the bickering and I want to jump out the car window, tuck and roll, and get up and run off into the woods. But alas, this is my uncle's funeral and how would it look if I wasn't in the car when it arrives in Michigan? Someone would surely think the husband offed me and left me for the buzzards somewhere along the way.

I was about to comment on how nice the Tennessee mountains are, but I just looked up and saw we're a out to enter Kentucky. So, the Kentucky mountains are beautiful. Makes me miss Arizona and being surrounded by mountains 360 degrees. It's a site you have to see to appreciate. I have to wonder if my brother and I argued half as much as Missy and Cam on our road trips and if so, how are we still alive??

I've taken this 12 hour trip plenty of times and there are areas that we come to that remind me of when we were kids. We used to sing "1000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", play "That's My Car" and "Slug Bug" for hours upon hours upon hours. How I wish they would do that rather than having to hear, "Don't touch me." "I'm not touching you!" "If you touch me..." "Aaaah! He's touching me!"

Really soon, it's going to be me asking, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?!?!"

Bangs

Ms. Missy hates my bangs.  Of course she hates anytime I take scissors to my hair, but she told me out right that my hair was ugly.  Kids say the darnedest things, right.  They are honest.  Too Honest.  At least Cam has some etiquette and told her that she should keep some things to herself.  Here's the reveal...

GOSH I shouldn't have stayed up so late last night!

2012 Vlog #2.

It was a pretty fabulous weekend.  After busting our butts to get this house clean and get the furniture moved in and get things situated, my family came to visit us for a few days.  AND IT WAS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN!

Video Diary... Introducing... ME!

It's great to be back in the blogging world.  After months on some-timey blogging, I wanted to try something new to go with the NEW YEAR, the NEW LIFE.  

Move in complete, life is pretty much... normal.

It's back to a normal pace around the wise house.  House is almost unpacked, I'm getting a routine again and kids are fitting in just fine... kinda.