Headline: Hungry Mother Leaves Son in Walmart Parking Lot

Okay, so that wasn't a real headline, but it did really happened. And when my cousin told me her story, I couldn't help but LMAO!

Okay, so you all remember when Oprah was giving away free chicken, right? You remember! The free KFC grilled chicken dinners.

(I'm paraphrasing here, but this is how our conversation went)

Cuz: Girl, me and T (about 14) were in WallyWorld and I was so hungry. My stomach was growling and all I was thinking about was my free chicken.

Me: Free what?

Cuz: You remember when Oprah was givin' away free chicken?

Me: When was Oprah giving away free tickets in ATL?

Cuz: CHICKEN!! You know the Grilled Chicken??

Me: OOOOHHHHH! You know I'm hard of hearing.

Cuz: So we get to the car, and put the bags in the trunk. I hop in the driver's seat and I hear T open and close his door. He always sits in the back seat because he wants to lay down sometimes.

So anyway, I'd heard his door open and close and I went ahead and backed out. I was so hungry and all I kept thinking about was getting to KFC. So I'm just drivin' and talkin' to T and wondering why he so quiet. I figured he was just laying down because he was tired. Anyway, I pull up into KFC and the drive thru line is real long. Everybody was trying to get their chicken. I was like "T, maybe you should go in and get in line and I'll just park instead of going to the drivethru. ................. T? T?" Girl, he wasn't even in there!

Okay, so by this time I'm trippin' cause I seriously can't believe that she didn't have her son in the car with her.

Me: Did you call his cell phone?

No! It was in the car. He had put his stuff in the car and then went to take the basket back. Girl, I hurried up and got up outta there and went back to Walmart.

I guess she figured she'd better trace her steps, like when you lose your keys or you wallet.

Cuz: I pulled back up to Walmart and T was standing out in front of the store..... MAD!

Now, I'm just cracking up because I could just imagine this 14 year old kid standing in the middle of the parking lot with his hands up in the air yelling MAMA as she sped off and kept going.

Cuz: And girl, every since then he won't get out the car when we go somewhere. He wait in the car until I come back.

The girl done traumatized the poor boy!



Dear Oprah,

Apparently giving away free chicken causes mothers to lose their minds. Please reframe from these sort of gifts, though they are quiet gracious and I really appreciate you coming off of some of those BIG dollars to buy EVERYBODY dinner. That was pretty cool. Maybe next time you should put a disclaimer in it. Something along the lines of
MAY CAUSE YOU TO LOSE YOUR CHILDREN!