A mom's work... well you know the rest!

I know I shouldn't say this out loud and I know that I'm being a bad influence for my kids, but homework is going to have to wait!

I have been flooded with "things to do" and I'm starting to think that I might want to slow my role a bit.  I haven't had time to go to the schools to volunteer my time this year.  I seem to not have time for anything with the school days being so short and the kids getting home starting at 2:10 rather than the 4:15 time they got off the bus in GA.  That's 2 hours off my day!

Try to hit the pavement or the gym most days out of the week right after I drop Miss Missy off at school in the morning, and by the time I get home, take a shower, check my email and FB... it's lunch time for Hubs.  He's home and I can't do homework during that time, of course.  So, he goes back to work and most days, that gives me maybe an hour before Miss Missy needs to be picked up.

Then it's "Them" time.  Can you read this?  Can you sign that?  Can you help me do this?  blah blah blah!  UGH!

One they are home and in homework mode, it's time to get ready for soccer practice 4 days out of the week.  

Monday - no practices - this is going to be the only day of the week I can do homework!

Tuesday - Miss Missy

Wednesday - The boys

Thursday - Miss Missy

Friday - The boys

Their games start this weekend.

Miss Missy is going to miss her first game because we're taking a mini-vaca for the 4-day!  Yay-ay!

It's been really busy lately, but I'm looking forward to adding in a little volunteer time at the school and a few things through ACS as well.  AND I run a FB group for the wives of Ft. Huachuca.  Oh and of course, I do the Soccer Mom thing for 2 out of 3 of the kids' teams.

Gotta Love being a Stay at home mom!

When I grow up!

As a mother of 3 in her 30's who has yet to find a direction in life, I'm still fighting with the frustrations of finding that little something that I can be good at.  A career that I can be proud of.  Over the years I have come up with several career paths that I thought would be good for me.

1.  A real estate agent - I really have always wanted to do this. I can literally see myself showing houses to people, walking through beautiful homes, dressed in professional pants suits and heels, with a huge smile plastered on my face.  That has been my dream job for about 10 years.  When I was ready, or thought I was, the market went to crap and all I kept hearing is, "Now is not a good time to start trying to sell houses."

2.  A medical assistant or medical administrative secretary - I started a degree program for this.  Back when Cam was a baby almost 8 years ago, I made it halfway through the second semester and had to quit.  Real bummer.  Hubs got orders to go to Korea.  There was no way I was going to stay in our apartment, alone, for a year, in a place where I was unhappy, in a neighborhood where I wasn't comfortable walking around safely!  So I moved to the Ville, back where my parents lived.  Back home.  And the school told me that my class credits were not transferable.  So I never went back.

3. Virtual Assistant - I always wanted to work from home.  So being a virtual assistant would have been great if I could work for a company from home on the computer doing the things that I already know how to do.

4.  AmeriPlan representative/ Prepaid Legal representative - Both of these home based businesses we flops.  I tried to be a good representative.  But I suck at selling and convincing people to buy something that they really don't want and I'm really not passionate about.  I sucked at trying to recruit people into the business under me when I wasn't selling ANYTHING myself.  Not good at that at all.

The one that has always stuck with me is real estate.  I have never not wanted to be an agent.  Even when I was aspiring to be something else, I still would say, "but I'm going to be a real estate agent on the side!"

Last night, I had a thought.  With the business being in such a bad way, I was thinking that I could do something related to real estate until things got better and I found myself financially ready to become an agent. What do you think about a real estate photographer?  I have a love for photography, as a hobby.  I have this nice pretty camera that I have always dreamed of using to put a few dollars in my pocket.  So why not put the two together and VIOLA!

A real estate photographer, being someone who takes pictures of the houses and buildings for the agents to use. Of course, since this idea just came to mind at 10 o'clock last night, I'm still working out the kinks and trying to figure out if it is even a workable business for me, but the fact that it would be me in business for myself is quiet appealing.  I need something that is mobile.  I will be moving to Arizona in a few months and as a Military Spouse it is great to have a job that can always move with you.

That's why I chose to try out selling Avon.  When I leave, I will have a business that can go with me, thanks to my wonderful website full of fabulous Avon products! **hint hint**  Shop the brochure!  If you haven't taken a look at Avon in a while you might be surprised (shamelessly advertising myself, I know)

Okay, so one day I will find what it is I'm looking for.  I'm hoping it's soon rather than later.  Not really wanting to be the mother of college kids still wondering what I wanna be when I grow up.  Although, with my personality traits and indecisiveness, that is totally possible!

OMG I'm almost too busy for MYSELF!

Is anyone else BUMMED by this rain??? OMG it is really coming down right now!

I have been keeping busy. We right at the 5th month point in deployment. Honestly, it has gone by fast. Staying busy the way that I am helps the time pass so quickly. Although I have slowed it down A LOT with PTO this year, I have picked up the slack with FRG.

I also have one in basketball. Tonight is our 3rd game and thus far, we are 2-0! Whoo Hoo!

My days are so not boring as I try to make it to the gym now about 3 times a week, make sure I go by the FRSA office once a week just to see if there is anything I need to do for FRG, and try to fit in all of my friends and family who require phone calls and special attention. That, I'm not good at. It is so hard for me to take the time to call my friends because I am always finding SOMETHING else that I could be doing rather than being on the phone. Send me a text and I'm GOOD! Ask me to call you and you may be waiting a while... sometimes a day or two!

This week has been really productive. The children and I are signed up for Disney's Give a Day, Get a Ticket program. If you haven't heard, all you have to do is give 6 hours of your time to participating organizations and Voila! A free ticket to Disney. It is soooooo worth it!

Our day just so happened to be welcoming in our very own Soldiers working with the ladies of the FRG that I would have been working with anyway! So when I saw the opportunity for Hug A Soldier online, I jumped on it! One of the companies our Brigade supports was scheduled to come in. Our job was to welcome them in with open arms. Too easy!

We decorated the post with yellow bows on the light post. I must have put together 50 of those things. Okay, maybe not quite, but you couldn't have told my hands that!

Last Saturday, the kids and I got up (in the rain, mind you) to go on post and put cups in the fence to spell WELCOME HOME 518th. Guys, the turnout for this was Amazing! There was a Girl Scout troop out there, and people drove in from South Carolina just to help out. I thought that was so wonderful! The entire post was decorated in an hour! People were back at the office making posters and signs and a school did a 70 foot banner with the kids hand prints.

It made the kids even more anxious for their daddy to come home. Yesterday, I picked them up from school just so that they could see the soldiers come in that they had worked so had to decorate for. It was part of our giving back just to be there and clap for these men and women in appreciation of all that they have done for us back at home. I hope the kids were able to understand the impact of their service.

The Homecoming Ceremony. If you have never seen the Soldiers come home to your families, you should grab a tissue.

Several Veterans and Freedom Riders came out to welcome the Soldiers home.

The soldiers stand in formation and wait to be released to their families.

The families wait for their soldiers to me released!

Okay, it off of the computer now because I have to get in the shower. I can finally understand where Stay-at-Home Moms were coming from when they'd say they were lucky to get one in everyday! I am SO busy most days, I have to remind myself to shower when I get home from the gym!

Yes, I am still keeping it up. There are many days when I wanna just come back home after dropping the kids off and kick my feet up and get me a nap, but I am hoping to continue with this Healthy Lifestyle change. One of my fellow bloggers, Renee at Cutie Booty Cakes, unknowingly has been a motivator for me after seeing her on the Wii Active commercial and seeing her results. I can do it. I just have to keep going!

Working through Staying at Home

The more I grow the more I realize how blessed I am. I look back on just a few years ago when I was an unhappy person and just couldn't wait for the days when my children were older.

Now I'm going to be perfectly honest here. Back when they were all still so young and I felt like they completely depended on me and only me, I couldn't understand why anyone with an ounce of sanity would want to be a stay at home mom. Back then, I was desperate to find a job and was willing to take just about anything just to get out of the house.

I use to argue with Hubs because he thought that working at a close to minimum wage retail job with 2 kids in daycare and one needing after school care would not help our financial situation in the least.

I use to argue that it would at least give me my sanity.

I believed that there was no way that THIS could be it for me and that there was no way that I was "doomed" to just be a mom. Afterall, how was that a reward for me?

Back then, I didn't see the benefits and the rewards of being a stay at home mom. I just wanted them to grow up faster so that I could be whatever it was that I wanted to be when I grow up. I felt like they were hindering me from having a life for myself, from following my own path, from being successful. So many people would say to me, "You are so lucky to be able to stay home and raise your kids." and "They are only this age once. Enjoy it." Those people HAD to be crazy!

When I grew up, those feelings changed. The more I stay home, the prouder I am to be able to do so. The older they get, the more I want them to slow down. Now that they are not needing me as much as they once did, I find myself needing them more. Does that make sense?

I have been a stay at home mom for the past 5 years plus and I now see the benefit in just being here everyday when they get home. I see, now, that God intended for me to not miss out on the important things and for me to be the one that they turn to when they need something. I appreciate them more than I every did. I know that it's my job to help them grow, but they have helped me grow. Being a mom has made me into a better person.

I don't complain anymore about having to stay home with them, having them depend on me, or just wanting to "do me". They are what it is all about. They are what it important to help me grow.

Domestic Duties stink!

I just have to face it. I'm just no good at this organized and neat and clean thing. I can spend HOURS cleaning one day and by the next morning the house looks even worse! I mean, really, who can keep up with all that has to be done AND blog and Facebook too????

I'm not Conceited. I'm Convinced!

A friend of mine told me the other day that what she really liked about my was how funny I am and how confident I am about myself.

This is funny because I tend to look at myself in the mirror and LAUGH sometimes. But that's neither here nor there, so moving right along to the story at hand....

But the reason she says this is because we're friends and when we are together, well... I tend to express to her how absolutely HAWT I am. I mean, I do that with all of my friends. I do it even more with my family. It's like a competition with my family and me.

WHO HAS THE BIGGEST EGO!

Quite frankly, I think I win that one, hands down.

Just as I do with the who's the best looking sibling and who's the favorite child.

I. win. period.

So anywho, she's one of those wives that would freak out if her husband turned his head in the direction of another female. One that goes crazy if he gets a call from a female co-worker.

I told her that I've never been like that. I told her that I have no concern of my husband looking at other chicks because I am WAY hotter than any of those chicks he works with. My way of thinking is that I'm a boatload of beauty. And I like to think that there are few people in the world who can compete.

Sounding a little shallow? Okay, so I'm really not all that confident deep inside. I mean, there might actually be one or two chicks out there that can give me a run for my money. But, thanks to my dad, I was brought up with WAY too much confidence in myself and it isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I'm NOT Conceited. I'm Convinced.

That's the model that my dad always taught me to live by.

So yes, I do think that I am all that and YES I will raise my daughter and sons with the same kind of confidence that I was raised with. That way, no one can ever break you down if you believe that you are truly fabulous.... as do I!

She's Girl Crushin' on me!

So the rain came down and Miss Missy didn't get to go to the pumpkin patch with her class this year. I was looking forward to it, but after having to cancel for the second time, I'm sure they won't be rescheduling since pumpkins represent Halloween and Halloween is in like 3 days. So I told Miss Missy that we'd take her to a pumpkin patch and that seemed to be okay with her.

We haven't carved a pumpkin this year. For me, carving pumpkins is traditional. I ALWAYS carved pumpkins when I was a kid, at least that's the way I remember it. When you're a kid, it's so much fun, regardless of the grossness of the oowey goowey insides.

********************************

Did I mention that I think that Miss Missy's teacher has some kinda girl crush on me? Okay, she's married. And I'm not saying it's like some kind of lesbian crush (although I think I might be just that stunning!) What I'm saying is that you know how... well, I think Beyonce' is hot. I like her because she's modest and sweet and kindhearted. And well, let's face it the girl is HOT! I'm envious. She looks damn good and I'd tell her so if I ever met her. I'd probably be all googly-eyed too! Not because I swing that way, but because she's just one of those people who stand out in my mind. And well, I WANT HER LEGS!

Okay, well, I'm no celebrity, but I have to say, Miss Missy's teacher sure makes me feel like one! She speaks to me every morning before I even get the classroom door all the way open, and that's before she greets Miss Missy! She makes sure that she comes clean from the other side of the room to say hello. She compliments me everyday, no matter what I have on. Well, I have to admit that I do go up in there most days lookin' like a superstar (yeah right), but today I have on am old sweat suit, ready to go walking when I got back home and she comments on how nice it was.

Okay, I know what you're thinking. Maybe she's just a really nice person. And she is, but I've spent a lot of time in that classroom and NONE of the other parents seem to get as much attention from her as I do. None of the other moms get compliments on their busted sweat suits, nor do they get greeted at the door, but instead a "HELLO" from across the room. I feel a little strange when I go in there because she stops what she's doing in class and comes to talk for a few minutes, always Always ALWAYS telling me how nice I look.

Perhaps I should just take the compliments for what it probably is, say thanks, and keep on truckin'. I mean, I'm a pretty good lookin' chick and have never lacked attention, but I'm also one to shy away from comments a little. I tend to change the subject when all eyes are on me. BUT I still make sure that I maintain myself so that peoples' impression of me don't change. I like looking cute and I like people seeing me lookin' cute. I don't wanna look like an average everyday Plain Jane mom. I don't wanna be out in sweats and a ponytail everyday. Yes, dealin' with kids makes you wanna just be comfortable, but for me, it's like, just because I'm a stay-at-home mom, doesn't mean I have to look like I STAY AT HOME!

So, I guess I can understand why Over Eager Teacher might feel the need to compliment me. Maybe it's not just a "girl crush". Maybe it's my style!

(ha ha ha ha ! Never had one of those before!)

The N Word Hurts

Is there an event in your life where, if given the opportunity, you'd go back and change or do differently?



There is one that stands out with me.



I was about 19. Working full time at Dress Barn, a retail clothing store. I liked this job. I mean, customer service came natural to me and I liked helping people find clothes and accessories that made them or their loved ones look beautiful.

Yeah YEAH sure SURE! It was a JOB! It was something to put a few dollars in my pocket so that I could pay my parents' water bill and put gas in my hooptie so that I could ride out with my girl to the Starlight Club on the weekends!

Anyway, there was one day that stands out above all the rest of the two years I worked there.

This place was right off the highway and was always filled with old people. There's something about an outlet that attracts old travelers. I think that once people get old, their trips take longer because they stop at every outlet they see off of the highway. It could be that when you get older, you just have more leisure time, or it could just be that you have to stop to pee more often and not rely on their Depends... I don't know.

An old couple was in the store. They had to be, I don't know, 70ish? The wife was a sweetheart and I just remember her taking a ton of clothes into the dressing room to try on. Good for me, because, although we didn't work on commission, our sales were tallied and we were recognized for what we were able to convince folks to buy.

WELL, while the wife was in the dressing room, this nice old man turns to me and says, "You know, my best friend is a nigger, too."

He must not have noticed the shocked, appalled looked on this young girls face because he didn't miss a beat as he continued, "And he was one of the nicest people you'd ever meet." He went on to talk about how this n-i-g-g-e-r was a good guy and blah blah blah. He lost me somewhere in there because all I could think about how insulted I was and how I just didn't know what to say or how to respond to such complete ignorance.

I mean, it was 1997! It wasn't 1935. It was obvious to all of the world that it wasn't okay and it was total disrespect to call a black person a NIGGER! And really, it shouldn't have mattered how old this old fart was. EVERYONE who had half of a brain knows that it's not okay and so absolutely offensive to use the N-word!

I couldn't say anything. I just stood there. Quiet and in disbelieve. I didn't defend myself in anyway. I simply smiled and continued to work.

In all do honesty, that is the one moment in my life that I wish I'd spoken up, the one time in my life when I wish I'd stood up and made it known what I was feeling. I didn't. I don't know why, but I was jut dumbfounded and bothered but did. not. say. a WORD.

What do I wish I woulda said?

I'm sorry, Sir, but I'm not a nigger. Nor do I know anyone who is. Nigger is quite derogatory and offensive to me and to any black person. We were called niggers in slavery, when white men owned us. This word is used by people who are deliberately intending to be offensive now. The definition of this hateful word is a person of any race or origin regarded as contemptible, inferior, ignorant, that which I am neither. Do I look ignorant to you, sir? Do you feel me to be inferior? Your age is no excuse for your ignorance toward me or your so-called friend. With friends like you, sir, I'd hate to see what kind of enemies that poor man had. I, sir, am no nigger and I am deeply offended by being referred to as such!

If given a second go around I probably still wouldn't be able to think fast enought ot spit all of that out, but I would certainly saw something. Something to let him know that I was offended and hurt by his actions. Of course, I may have been fired for speaking out, but I would feel as though I defended myself and stood up for who I am!

Think God will understand that I'm tired?

It's been a busy busy weekend. I hope this is the last one of it's kind. It started Friday night with our school's first chili cook off.

Okay, that wasn't my chili display, but it made for a great photo op. That was the "Best Presatation" Winner.... and Runnin' Man.

It turned out to be a lot of fun with a lot of participation for a Friday night considering many people have other events to attend. There were at least 25 participants, lots of teacher volunteers, and live entertainment from one of the teacher's husband.

This teacher won Best Overall. Hmm, I didn't agree, but what do I know!

There were many compliments on what a great idea it was. Not to toot my own horn, but it was my idea. Now, I have to admit, with my recent encounter with the PTO Prez, I didn't put much input into the whole planning of it. I became a rebellious teenager and let Mrs. Do-It-All, well, do it all! I stepped back, as I wasn't feeling appreciated for what I have done and I let her handle it. Hopefully it stressed her out a little... Okay, hopefully it stressed her out A LOT! LOL!



The principal, who was one of the judges, stopped to let me know that the cook-off was a WONDERFUL idea and that we should do it every year (yea me!) and she also, yet again, let me know how much she and the staff loved the school shirts this year (my idea as well. I'll have to check my archives to see if I've told the story behind that yet). So I feel accomplished with PTO right now, even though I have taken it easy this year.


While I was at the cook-off, I only had Runnin' Man with me as Miss Missy was visiting a friend in order to stay out of my hair while I worked and Sir-Talks-A-Lot was attending a birthday party.


So after the cook-off, it was off to pick up Miss Missy and then off to pick up Sir-Talks-A-Lot about 20 minutes away.

The party was all STAR WARS and Sir-Talks-A-Lot had a ball. I was the last one picking up because of the cook-off, but when I got there he was not ready to go.





Have you ever gotten a compliment about your kid that made you just know that you had to be doing something right?


The party was for one of the school's coach's son. (is that grammatically correct?). He said to me that Sir-Talks-A-Lot was the most well mannered kid that he has ever taught in his, I think, 8 years of teaching. And he said it with a straight face! He even repeated it. It blew me away! I mean you always try to teach your kids to me good and well mannered and respectful. I don't know about you guys, but I put the fear of God in my children if they go somewhere and are not good. But honestly, I wasn't ever really sure how well they take head to what I say. I mean, they're not that great for me. Manners seem to get lost a lot in the house.


Just hearing that makes me know that I am doing something right with that boy... and the other two. That's probably the best thing I've heard in a very long time!


So the rest of the weekend was a blur. When we got home, the boys had a sleepover for Runnin' Man's best friend that, even though he was being punished for a bad grade on a test, I let them go....2 hours late.


They came home from the sleepover about 8 the next morning and it was a mad dash to get ready for Sir-Talks-A-Lot's football practice at 9am and Runnin'Man's football game at 10.



They tied 7-7, ONLY because they gave up not one but TWO touchdowns with penalties!


From there is was off to finish up the day with an FRG fundraiser at an all day boyscout event.


I'm tired all over again just writing about it!


I know I'm wrong for this excuse, but this is the reason I have been skipping out on church since Hubs has been gone. Sunday is the only day where I can rest. I know it's bad to give time to everything else all week and choose to put the Lord on the back burner, but I pray that he understands. That's why they have Joel Osteen and Creflo Dollar preachin' on Sunday mornings, right?

There are some things in life that stick with you and you never forget. Certain memories from your yound life that never leave you. This might be one for them.

Babysitting equals ME time

I'm babysitting this morning. As you can tell. And although this is something that I won't do as a full time job considering that I rarely like my own kids (sorry, kids, you know mommy loves you!).

See I can deal with watching kids that don't require a lot of attention and maintenence. You know, those that occupy themselves and don't require pamper changes and food or water.

No, really, these kids are great and make babysitting easy. A 4 year old and a 2 year old.

It's like:

Hey, why don't we watch a MOVIE!!!

and I sit at my computer and google "hot summer shoes"!

Miss Missy best buddy is a little boy that lives a few houses down. He and his little brother often come by to visit and it's like being in heaven! I actually INVITE these kids to come over! Miss Missy and these boys play together and I don't hear a word out of them. No tattle-tailing, no crying, no issues. I mean, 2-3 hours of ME time with Miss Missy occupied and not asking me to be in her band or giving me a makeover!

I'M sad when they leave!


So if you want a sitter that interacts with your kid and actually takes her eyes off of the computer while your kids is at my house, if you expect that someone older than 4 will be keeping an eye on them, or if you feel that you'd like a sitter who uses something other than TV video games and snack to occupy your kid's stay, DON'T bring them here! That's NOT how I ROLL!


It's funny, but I tell everyone that I don't have a tolerance for kids. MY kids tell their friends that I don't like kids! But I think it really boils down to I really don't tolerate my own as well as I can tolerate others. Unless of course they are brats. Then they can stay at home!

Music Today.. MAN, NOW I GET IT!

Way back when, when I was a teenager.......... you know, when teens were the coolest thing in the world and anybody over 30 was considered OLD............. I remember so many days riding in the car with my parents and thinking, how could they possibly listen to all these OLD songs from the 70's and the 80's.

Why wouldn't they leave the station on E 93, the hottest radio station on the air?

Nobody wants to hear some guy singing about sittin' on the dock of the bay (why is he just sitting there?) or some dude havin' a thing goin' on with Mrs. Jones!

It's funny because when you're a teen, almost nothing your parents do could be considered cool. Especially when it came to the oldies.

My dad use to literally HATE when I listened to 2Pac (My all-time fave and biggest star crush ever) in my room... at full blast... with my door closed.

I just didn't get it? What did he have against a true rap legend expressing himself through rhyme?

You'd think that he woulda taken the time to realize that Pac wasn't REALLY disrespecting women when he dropped the track, "Wonder why they call you B*TCH" He was trying to get girls to stop doing things that get them labeled.

LOL! It's funny now when I look back because I just didn't understand what was really wrong with writing SEX YOU UP going down the pant leg of my jeans and why that almost caused me to get a beat down.

It was just a song! I tribute to Milly Vanilly!

Fact is, I have grown into those two people that raised me. I've lost my music hipness, so to say and have completely stopped watching to BET and MTV.

My best friend asked me WHY and at that time I really couldn't express an answer, but truth be told, today's music, and music from when I was a kid, often is offensive and degrading to women. I'm not ready for my 9 and 7 year old boys to start calling women B's and talking about the chick in a bikini with the fat a$$ dancing up on Lil Wayne.

It's pretty bad that it has come to this point that there is so much in music that I am not ready for my kids to be exposed to.

Even favorites such as Soldier Boy have influences in the lyrics that are not exactly kosher for kids, yet it surprises me to hear it played at school events.

Now, I'm not saying that I ban my kids from music all together, because we do still listen to what comes on the radio, but I'm much more cautious now because I know some of these songs are likely to say ANYTHING.

I've always got my finger in the pointing position and ready to change the station at a moment's notice!

I completely understand why my parents were more into the oldies now. Because they certainly were and still are considered goodies.

And most of them have less cause for concern.

Lots of music today seems to be just something thrown out there coming from that part of the mind that is SENSELESS!

I mean, what the heck is a STANKY LEG????

Tell It Like It T-I-Z Tuesday - Spanking

Better late than wait until next week!


I was watching The Today's Show this morning with Kathie Lee and Hoda... or at least it was on my TV while I was bouncing from room to room trying to get ready for Miss Missy's doctor's appointment... and I had to stop when I heard a segment come on about disciplining other people's kids. I have some opinions on that issue, but the main part that I tripped off of was about SPANKING.

AHHHH, the dreaded and most steer clear subject on the blogs.

Well, today, I feel a little controversial and a little brave at the same time, so I'm going to go ahead and open up this can of worms.

Yes, I am aware that all of my 3 or so readers won't agree with me or my parenting tactics, but everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I'm about to give mine.

Sorry guys, but I. spank. my. kids.

And when this chick, Linda Fears, editor and chief of Family Circle magazine said that if she saw a mom in Bloomingdale's spanking HER kid, she would walk up to her and tell her that tell her to stop I almost coughed up my omlet! She says that she in entitled to her opinion, even if it isn't her business.

HA! You know what? If she walks up to the WRONG one on the WRONG day she might get her opinion knocked down her throat! Many of the parents I know may not take well to Miss Thang's "expert opinion" while little Johnny is running through the clothes, tearing them from the racks and screaming about getting gum from the bubble gum machine. Not something my kids have done, of course, but you get the point. LOL!

Sorry, but I'm not the one to constantly ask my our kids to "please stop or I'm going to call your daddy". Nun uhh! And I refuse to leave a store because some little pint-sized mini-me want to scream his or her way through the store. AND, I'm not going to handle it when I get home! We are going to rectify the situation right then and there. Get it together or "I'm going to embarrass you in this store!" is what my mom use to tell me! And I use those same words today.

I'd rather spank my kids now than to have them growing up being spoiled rotten, not understanding that there are harsh consequences for their actions and pulling a Columbine type thing of some kind, or thinking it's okay to sue your parents.


I know that all the studies show that spanking is no longer the "right" way to discipline children these day. I'm aware that psychologist and psychiatrists alike will tell you that you should never hit your children in any way. I've heard it all. I just really don't believe the hype!

I love my children more than I love myself, and guys, that's a whole lotta love! But I have come to believe that for me, and for my family, the mere threat that there may be a swat to the butt if you mess up keeps my kids in line. They know that momma means business when she starts talking about the belt and most of the time that is enough to get them back to walking that straight line.

I have very good children. I have very few tantrums thrown by them. There are never times when I feel that I can't take my kids to the store for fear that they are going to act out and embarrass me. They know the consequences of their actions and for the most part choose not to travel down that road.

Does that make me a bad mom? I don't know if it does by your standards, but I have three very happy, well rounded and well-behaved kids that are constantly in a competition to see who can get the most hugs from me before going to bed at night, and who happen to think that I'm the best thing since sliced bread! And that tells me that even though I discipline my monsters with the fear of spanking, they have turned out to be wonderful kids.

So screw your studies!

So that's the way I see it and that's how I TELL IT LIKE IT T-I-Z!!

Wanna join in? I'm not gonna add Mr. Linky, but you can just leave me a comment so that I can some over to your page and ready what you have to Tell It Like It T-I-Z about this week!

My secret to well behaved kids is.......

Okay, I know that it seems that I have it all together over here. I mean I have the world's most perfect children!

(Gasp, gasp! Choke! OMGosh, I swallowed my gum!)

Okay so they aren't perfect. Matter of fact, my house can be pretty chaotic. My kids argue so much that my neighbors are sure to hear me yelling at the top of my lungs, "Would you just SHUT UP!!!"

Often times, my yelling is followed by giggling (not mine, theirs) because there are times when they just take me for a joke. Often times I am joking when I'm yelling like a maniac. Most times I'm not.

When I'm not, the kids tend to take a step back to examine my face and my mood and realize that mom means business today. And if they don't want to befriend the belt that night then they know to calm down and steer clear.

I take my children out a lot. Running errands, groceries, whatever. I have friends that don't, or feel they can't because of behavior. These mothers will stay home for fear that the kids are gonna act up and embarrass them.

HA!

Are you kidding me? If I have to go out, there is no way some pint-sized-mini-me's are gonna keep me from handling my business.

People always stop me and say how "well-behaved" my kids are. I mean really. I get this all the time.

"If you only see them at home," is what I usually say. (As we speak they are wrestling in my living room with all of the pillows from my couch thrown every which and where).

"Well they know when to be good when it counts."

"What's your secret?" is a questions I am often asked by friends and other moms.

That makes me stop and think, because honestly I don't have a secret. Well, FEAR!

I put the fear of GOD in my kids that if they even show an inkling of embarrassing actions while we are in public I will surely turn the actions around. I think they know that mom is a little crazy and not afraid to wear their tails out on a whim! Because of this, most of the time, they don't take the chance of acting up because I may very well not wait until we get home to embarrass them in the middle of the store.

The great thing is, MOM is in charge. I let them know that from the day they are born. LOL!

All in all, I raise my babies with a lot of love and a lot of discipline. Most of the time they don't like it, but that's just the way that it is. If I don't teach them now there will be consequence later. And that is something I want to avoid at all costs.

Overcoming the Stay-At-Home-Mom Blues

Being a stay at home one is probably one of the most rewarding jobs that a mother can have. I mean, what better way to spend your time than being able to nurture, teach and take care of your children, rather than paying someone else to do it, right?

I do my best to take pride in the fact that I can stay home with my children, be here when they get home from school, help them with their homework and take care of their every need. And I KNOW that this is a privileged and rewarding experience. Yet, I still have trouble overcoming the blues from feeling like I should be doing more for my family. There is a feeling of being inferior to the women that seem to have it all. The ones that are successful at juggling a career and raising well-rounded children. The ones who seem to have all the answers, juggling conferences calls and ledgers as well as bottles and doctor's appointments.

I know this is a taboo thing to discuss, but I'm just going to throw it out there. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on my own life while I'm waiting on my children to grow up. I'm sometimes resentful to the fact that I've chosen this path. While I'm staying at home, being a mom, where is mom's fulfillment come in? I almost feel like I've taken women's lib 10 steps back by not taking on the responsibilities that we have fought for throughout the years. The right for women to work and be considered as equal. I feel like I am hindering my family financially, even though I know that we've agreed that my not working is better for us because of the cost of childcare and for our children's development. I want to look back in my old days and think that my life was a success somehow, that I have done the things that I was put here to do, and I don't want that to be JUST BEING A MOM!

Are my children are going to think less of me because I don't work? How can I explain to them the importance of going to college and being all that you can be in life if I am not a good example?

I mean, it seems that society somehow looks down on women that stay home. Am I the only onw that gets asked questions like

"You're STILL saying at home?"

"When are you planning on going to work?"

"You don't do anything during the day, so can you...?"

Please don't get it twisted. I'm not trying to bash women that stay home and enjoy being stay-at-home-moms. Not by any means. Nor am I saying that working moms lives have more meaning. I feel each kind of mom makes sacrifices necessary for them to make it work for their families. These are personal feelings of mine of how I sometimes get the blues living as stay at home mom.

Of course, I've come to the conclusion that as a stay at home mom, I am giving my children what is best by my standards. By being at home with them, I am able to spend more time with them and take care of things that need to be taken care of without hiring someone, which I surely can't afford right now. I can be here to see all their firsts and readily availble to praise them for their accomplishments. I take gratification in knowing that when they are older, which will be all too soon, I can take the opportunity to fulfill some of those selfish desires of obtaining a career. Right now, I'm needed here, to be the best mom I can be, by my own standards.

I wish I could.........

There are so many things that I wish I could do.

I wish I could fly from one place to the next, particularly since I'm suffering with these gas prices and I own a ten year old Navigator. The only thing is that they would surely find a way to tax that too. Make me pay for the wind beneath my wings or something.

I wish I could finally get off my butt and get some energy to really work out and that after only a 10 minute workout I would be down to my ideal weight and be able to prance around in an Itty Bitty Teeny Weeny, you know? One workout. Or better yet, I wish I could eat all I want and never change in appearance. How about that?!?!

I wish I could have it all. The ability to be a stay at home mom and a career woman. But it seems that the only way that could happen is if I worked my business at night while ...the kids... are sleeping..... hmmm. Do prostitute moms have it made or what! Highly adored stay at home mom by day, avid dedicated business women making her own money, making many people HAPPY by night....... Hmmm.

Most of all, I wish I could shield my children from all pain and hurt in their future. The thought of anything happening to them, anyone hurting them or any pain coming their way makes me cringe and I certainly wish I could shield them from it all.

A Voice of Intellegence

Okay, I've always tried to teach my children to see no color. Our friends come from different backgrounds and so do theirs. As a matter of fact, up until my olderest son was about 6, he identified everyone by the color of their shirt. "That blue guy on TV...." "That orange guy said..."
This has embarrassed a time or two when the shirt is white or black.

Living in an extremely diversified community has been a blessing for me and the perfect environment for raising children. I grew up the same way. My dad was a soldier. Yes, I'm an Army Brat turned Army WIfe. HOOAH! Our military communities were giant melting pots. Understanding the difference between one "color" and another meant nothing to me.

It wasn't until I returned to my home town through PSC moves and for visits that I became aware of the differences in the way "we act".

I had to be as young as 5 or 6 when I remember my cousins, aunts and uncles saying, "You talk like a white girl."

At that time, I took it as an insult. "Nuh uhh. No I don't." And for years, the semi-teasing would continue. Someone would always comment on how... "proper" I spoke, and how I MUST hang around too many..... white people.

I've never to this day been able to understand that concept. Why is it that if a black person speaks proper english, as it is taught in every english text book I've ever known, even the ones that are sent to schools with 99% African American students, why is it that speaking the way that english is meant to be spoken, considered "a white thing"?

I teach my children to speak proper english. I correct them whenever I hear broken english or improper uses of verb tense, or whatever. I do this because I know that life is going to be hard enough for them when they get older. There are always going to be road blocks placed before them simply because of who they are. I don't want them to have doors slammed in their faces because they can't speak the english we are intended to speak. It would be extremely hard to get into Harvard, Princeton, Howard or Georgetown if you walk in for an interview talkin' 'bout, "What yo name is?"

I want them to know that there is a right way and a wrong way, not a black way and a white way.

I teach them proper english because I love them and I expect great things from them. I teach them that talking is the way you express your self to the world and is the mirror to your intellegence. And if that means that they will be accused of "acting white" or "talking like white people" the way it did for me, so be it. I'm thankful every day for my voice.

Sleeping in while I can

Some may consider me blessed while others may just think that I am outright lazy, but my day hardly ever begins before 10am since the summer has kicked in. Yes, I have 3 children and my step daughter is visiting for a few weeks, but yet and still, even at 10am, I'm the first one to get out of bed in the morning (after my husband leaves for work, of course).

I know this is because I let the kids stay up pretty late because it's summer and I kinda got tired of the schedules and the routine that the so diligently stuck to when school was still in. I spoil them I know, and it started out where they were allowed to stay up an hour or so later then their regular bedtime. That didn't last long as we started sitting around watching TV or playing the Wii until we get tired. So now, there is no bedtime and the children don't wind down until 10:30 or so. Unhealthy, I know, but as a mom who stays at home, I tend to enjoy the extra sleep I get in the mornings and the alone time I have before they wake up. And I have to take Mommy Time when I can get it because I know that as soon as one wakes, the others are sure to follow and the chaos begins.

"Momma, CJ hit me."

"Momma, Cameron won't get off my bed."

"Momma, Kennedy won't get out of our room."

Now, that's the daily routine. It's started the first day of summer vacation. And I know I'm not the only mom (am I?), but I can't wait for school to start again!