Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Working through Staying at Home

The more I grow the more I realize how blessed I am. I look back on just a few years ago when I was an unhappy person and just couldn't wait for the days when my children were older.

Now I'm going to be perfectly honest here. Back when they were all still so young and I felt like they completely depended on me and only me, I couldn't understand why anyone with an ounce of sanity would want to be a stay at home mom. Back then, I was desperate to find a job and was willing to take just about anything just to get out of the house.

I use to argue with Hubs because he thought that working at a close to minimum wage retail job with 2 kids in daycare and one needing after school care would not help our financial situation in the least.

I use to argue that it would at least give me my sanity.

I believed that there was no way that THIS could be it for me and that there was no way that I was "doomed" to just be a mom. Afterall, how was that a reward for me?

Back then, I didn't see the benefits and the rewards of being a stay at home mom. I just wanted them to grow up faster so that I could be whatever it was that I wanted to be when I grow up. I felt like they were hindering me from having a life for myself, from following my own path, from being successful. So many people would say to me, "You are so lucky to be able to stay home and raise your kids." and "They are only this age once. Enjoy it." Those people HAD to be crazy!

When I grew up, those feelings changed. The more I stay home, the prouder I am to be able to do so. The older they get, the more I want them to slow down. Now that they are not needing me as much as they once did, I find myself needing them more. Does that make sense?

I have been a stay at home mom for the past 5 years plus and I now see the benefit in just being here everyday when they get home. I see, now, that God intended for me to not miss out on the important things and for me to be the one that they turn to when they need something. I appreciate them more than I every did. I know that it's my job to help them grow, but they have helped me grow. Being a mom has made me into a better person.

I don't complain anymore about having to stay home with them, having them depend on me, or just wanting to "do me". They are what it is all about. They are what it important to help me grow.


Kristin said...

I can totally relate! I am starting to realize that this is such an important job and instead of looking elsewhere for something to accomplish, there's plenty right in my own home that I can still work on and learn about being a Mom.

yonca said...

It is the best job ever!

African American Mom said...

I am o0n the fence about staying at home. Some days I want to and then some days I am glad I work.

Obviously, I can't be satisfied.