Friday, April 17, 2009

I KNOW I gained weight, okay???

You know, sometimes it's hard to get over things that people say, even if they really have the best intentions when they say them.

When my dad was here on Tuesday, he made a comment about how "I better lose weight". Of course, as I usually do, I laughed it off and said I know. At the time, I didn't really think much of it. I mean, he didn't say it in a mean way. He didn't say it in front of anyone. And I know that he wasn't trying to make me feel bad about it. But I KNOW this already!

But later on, what he had said came back to me. And it started to sting. I started to think about how he ALWAYS has something to say about my weight when he sees me. Sometimes he'll politely say, "You lost some weight." and I'll say NO, because I don't think I have lost any noticeable weight in 2 years.

Years ago, when I got honey blond highlights, I thought I was the cutest thing in GA. He let me know how much he hated it every time he saw me.

And I don't think that I can forget the time when I was in my early 20's, a young wife and mother, and he told me that I needed to go in the house and put on some makeup. I didn't even wear make up at that time. Nothing except a little lipstick every now and then.

Okay, that I was a little offended by. I wasn't even allowed to wear make up until I graduated high school, so you mean to tell me that all of a sudden it was that important? Wear makeup just to sit in the house.

I think that my dad has always been a little critical of the way that I look, be it good or bad. He is all comments when I am at my highest, but surely shows disgust when my appearance is less than perfect. But in his usual charming way.

Or perhaps I'm a little sensitive because of my not so perfect figure.....


Kristin said...

Oh man, Diva Ma! I'm sorry your Dad made you feel that way! Yesterday I posted a picture of myself holding my new niece and I was thinking the whole time how much weight I had gained as opposed to my wedding photo on my sidebar! Why are we so critical of ourselves? I say we forget about it and just be happy!!

Have a great weekend!!!!

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

Girl, family is THE WORST when it comes to pointing out things about yourself you already know... maybe because they know we won't say anything back. I mean, it's not like you can lay your Dad out for saying mean things (no matter how nice they come out of his mouth)--you have that much respect for him. But maybe it's time he had some respect for you, too. Perhaps you can talk to him--respectfully and nicely--that what he says hurts your feelings, and doesn't help you make healthy changes FOR YOU. You're grown, mama. Let him know it (respectfully, though... I'd hate to see you get the beat down in front of the babies). ; )

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

My mom does the same thing. But, not necessarily defending them, they think that they mean well with their opinions. I believe if he really knew just how much it hurts you, he'd think before he spoke.

If it were my mom, I'd say, "Mom, you may feel that I'd look better if I wore makeup….but you have to remember, that that's YOUR opinion. I am finding that in order to love me for who I am, I have to put my opinion about "me" first before allowing others opinions to matter. In fact, in this age of negativity, we all need some positives. I'm asking for you to respect that."

Knowing my mom, she'd get silent and then offended and say, "Well, I was only trying to help. I'll leave you alone from now on." But, that's fine too. You don't need someone to tear you down…you need others to build you up.

Mocha Dad said...

I thought moms were the only ones who did this.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Ouch. I am sure he doesn't meant to be hurtful...but Day-um, daddy!

Amy McMean a.k.a McSunshine said...

My mom tells me all the time that I need to lose weight, wear makeup, "try to do something with myself". Even when i'm eating better and working out she says this stuff. I hate it. then she throws in this kicker, "If i can't tell you who can" NO ONE!

parents sometimes.

Melissa said...

Awww honey... I think you look beautiful... don't listen to your daddy (at least on this subject)... men don't get it!!

angie said...

My dad has no tact either. Even though I know this, it still hurts.