Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Tell It Like It T-I-Z Tuesday - Spanking

Better late than wait until next week!

I was watching The Today's Show this morning with Kathie Lee and Hoda... or at least it was on my TV while I was bouncing from room to room trying to get ready for Miss Missy's doctor's appointment... and I had to stop when I heard a segment come on about disciplining other people's kids. I have some opinions on that issue, but the main part that I tripped off of was about SPANKING.

AHHHH, the dreaded and most steer clear subject on the blogs.

Well, today, I feel a little controversial and a little brave at the same time, so I'm going to go ahead and open up this can of worms.

Yes, I am aware that all of my 3 or so readers won't agree with me or my parenting tactics, but everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I'm about to give mine.

Sorry guys, but I. spank. my. kids.

And when this chick, Linda Fears, editor and chief of Family Circle magazine said that if she saw a mom in Bloomingdale's spanking HER kid, she would walk up to her and tell her that tell her to stop I almost coughed up my omlet! She says that she in entitled to her opinion, even if it isn't her business.

HA! You know what? If she walks up to the WRONG one on the WRONG day she might get her opinion knocked down her throat! Many of the parents I know may not take well to Miss Thang's "expert opinion" while little Johnny is running through the clothes, tearing them from the racks and screaming about getting gum from the bubble gum machine. Not something my kids have done, of course, but you get the point. LOL!

Sorry, but I'm not the one to constantly ask my our kids to "please stop or I'm going to call your daddy". Nun uhh! And I refuse to leave a store because some little pint-sized mini-me want to scream his or her way through the store. AND, I'm not going to handle it when I get home! We are going to rectify the situation right then and there. Get it together or "I'm going to embarrass you in this store!" is what my mom use to tell me! And I use those same words today.

I'd rather spank my kids now than to have them growing up being spoiled rotten, not understanding that there are harsh consequences for their actions and pulling a Columbine type thing of some kind, or thinking it's okay to sue your parents.

I know that all the studies show that spanking is no longer the "right" way to discipline children these day. I'm aware that psychologist and psychiatrists alike will tell you that you should never hit your children in any way. I've heard it all. I just really don't believe the hype!

I love my children more than I love myself, and guys, that's a whole lotta love! But I have come to believe that for me, and for my family, the mere threat that there may be a swat to the butt if you mess up keeps my kids in line. They know that momma means business when she starts talking about the belt and most of the time that is enough to get them back to walking that straight line.

I have very good children. I have very few tantrums thrown by them. There are never times when I feel that I can't take my kids to the store for fear that they are going to act out and embarrass me. They know the consequences of their actions and for the most part choose not to travel down that road.

Does that make me a bad mom? I don't know if it does by your standards, but I have three very happy, well rounded and well-behaved kids that are constantly in a competition to see who can get the most hugs from me before going to bed at night, and who happen to think that I'm the best thing since sliced bread! And that tells me that even though I discipline my monsters with the fear of spanking, they have turned out to be wonderful kids.

So screw your studies!

So that's the way I see it and that's how I TELL IT LIKE IT T-I-Z!!

Wanna join in? I'm not gonna add Mr. Linky, but you can just leave me a comment so that I can some over to your page and ready what you have to Tell It Like It T-I-Z about this week!


Tiaras & Tantrums said...

I think that moms have to decide what is best for them and their children AT THAT moment!

I have spanked - like a couple of times - and my kids always laugh at me - but then they always get the corner. I have put my kids in the corner at church - at school - in Target - believe me - there are corners everywhere you go! My kids do NOT like that in public!

Ms. Bar B: said...

HAHA. Well you gone 'head and tell it like it is then!! I'm with you. I don't have a problem with spanking at all. Spanking is not the same as beating, and a swat to the butt ain't never killed a child. Sometimes I think its necessary to get the point across. I use a mixture of spanking when my daughter is totally out of line or has done something dangerous and I need to get her attention (such as running into the street without me or something like that). The rest of the time I do a lot of talking and enforcing, time outs and other stuff. I completely agree that Miss Thang might NOT wanna go around telling parents to stop spanking their kids, especially while there is a spanking in progress, lol.

Nap Warden said...

I gotta say, I tried spanking...it got me nowhere. I don't judge though. Everyone has different situations and parenting styles...No drama here;)

Kristin said...

Ha!!! You are cracking me up, Diva Ma.....you know you have more than 3 readers! LOL!!

I say "Amen" to knowing what's best for you and your kids. My kids are very well-behaved too and I get told that all the time. Some of their friends are allowed to do whatever they want and they are those kids who never get invited to anyone's house because they don't know how to behave!

I will spank if needed. I don't like to, but sometimes it's the only thing that says "Momma means business!"

Thanks for telling it like it t-i-z!

Oh, and I hope you do find a church that you like! It makes all the difference to find one that you feel comfortable and happy with!

Anonymous said...

The kid knows I mean business when I say so. He gets spanking, usually with a switch (the most effective method) He can care less about a belt.

As a matter of fact I have a switch in the car, and in almost every room of the house.

La Pixie said...

ooh, how I wish I disagreed with you just so that you would post more!!!

I do have to say that I have seen a kid or two that didnt respond to spankings, but that it the minority. the majority of kids will correct their behavior if their parents are consistant in spankings. I know I was spanked a few kids when I was a wee one. it was good for me, and I always knew that my mom and dad loved me.


Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

This mama is a firm believer in spanking…not beating or leaving marks or slapping in the face or using a board or even a tree branch…just plain ol spanking when it's needed. Of course, my girls are 19 and 21 so no longer the need to spank BUT when they were younger, they were spanked when it was necessary. My ex and I made sure that they understood why they were getting spanked. I'd ask, "Do you know why you're getting spanked?" Then, I'd have them tell me why. It was important that they were able to verbalize that they broke a rule and that was the consequence. On top of it, I didn't want to be called to appear on Jerry Springer's show years later with the accusation of "My mom spanked me because…..ummm…I'm not sure why she spanked me."

I owned a daycare facility and I saw so many kids that could've used a spanking instead of time out. Kids slapping their mom in the face or throwing tantrums and biting other kids.

Yes, it's a preference thing and you have to know how your child responds. I think though, that in this day, the kids are more smart mouth and will talk back and not do as they are told. How do you get the point across?

Good post, Girl!

Amy McMean a.k.a McSunshine said...

I was spanked as a child I haven't grown up to be some crazy angery, hurtful soul. I'm fine. No emotional damage here. My 7 year -old twin cousins are TERRORS! My terrors, but terrors non the less, I always tell their mother they act that way because she didn't smack them enough. We are very close and they stay with me alot, they know if they act up in puclic, or at home with me I'll smack their butss and thats that. She knows it and actually says I'm the only person they listen to and behave for. not because they are AFRAID of me, but because they know they can't push me around.

I've worked in retail and often wanted to smack some moms who "ignore" their child while they scream an yell and run around the store. I once asked a women to please leave the store with her child because he was disturbing the rest of the customers.

Diva Ma said...

Tiaras and Tantrums - I agree that iit is up to the parent and depends on what works for them. All Kids don't respond to spanking. MINE DO

Ms. Bar B - I'm very much with you that a swat on the behind is necessisary to get your child's attention when they are putting or have put themselves in danger.

Nap Warden - Judge Not, is the way to go. I'm all for people who have mastered the art of parenting and have well behaved kids without spanking. I haven't been able to do that. Good for you, though.

She Needs - Whoo hoo for the switch! Those sting and NO kids wants to experience that!

My choice "attitude adjuster" is "the Beat 'Em Stick", a rubber ruler I use to pop their hands. They straighten up at the mention of that!

Diva Ma said...

Kristin - I have kids over my house all the time as long as they are good. I have friends whose kids are NOT good and I hope they get the point when they don't get invitions!

Choc. Covered - I appreciate the reminder that I have to make sure the kids unerstand why they are getting punished. I do know that I will not tolerate kids and their smart mouths. That's a peeve of mine. Not from my kids or anyone else's!

Pixie - I'll probably post more. It's just something I love to talk about. Not that I beat my kids, but they know that SPANKING is a possible consequence and and because of that they choose to correct bad behavior.

Amy - I am NOT one of those mom's that ignore their kids in the store and let them run crazy. I would be way too embarrassed if I was asked to leave a store because of my kids!

H.K. said...

I never thought spanking was wrong, but I also agree with some of the comments that it depends on the kid. We rarely had to spank our son because all I had to do was give him "the look" and he burst into tears and said, sorry! Now he's not scared of "the look", so we resort to taking away his cell phone which for teens it's like losing a limb!

Kingdom_Seeker said...

I couldn't agree with you more. I worked for 10 years with kids with behavioral problems. Most of them were allowed to do whatever they wanted with no fear of consequences. They never learned respect for authority or that negative behavior has negative results. As a result the courts have had to spank them and they have permanent records. IN my opinion, those parents who refuse to spank are abusing their kids as is the society who ignorantly says it's wrong. You as a parent will one day answer to the Lord about how your kids were raised. I will say that He is much wiser than any "Expert".

Kingdom_Seeker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yet said...

Look, in my lowly opinion, kids need to be spanked. Like they say, sometimes "hands on" is the best method or learning. And when it gets to the point where words just aren't getting it...it's time to dust off the switch/belt/palm and get to work. I got spanked when I was growing up and I KNOW it worked. And i'm going to spank my kids when I have them. It's just as simple as that. Man, I could go on alll day, but now is not the time. Sigh. I need to calm down. This was a great topic to blog about. "high five". Have a great day.

Ms. Wanda said...

"Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child" My parents said that my whole life. My mom spanked me and I turned alright, I think:) Anyhew, your children are beautiful, I have 3 of my own and I spanked them when they were little, sometimes. Mostly now I do time outs, but they are good kids and a time out works. Also, the last time I tried to pop my oldest who is now 11, I hurt myself because he is solid as a rock!!! I had to leave the room so he wouldn't see me cry:)

African American Mom said...


Say that!