Monday, June 22, 2009

Crying over spilled... Kool-Aid

Ever get really emotional for no real reason?

I don't know what it is. Part of it is because Hubs has been on night shift. 6pm to 7am. He's been sleeping most of the day, wakes up only to eat and get ready for another night

So it's just me and the kids.

I'm so bored and alone it's pathetic. I'm not one for talking on the phone. Besides, during the times that I'm home alone, people are getting off working and doing the "family time" thing. I know I usually am.

This is kinda good because it gives me a glimpse of what I'm about to go through once he's gone to Iraq. The last time he left for Korea, I cried for about a week. I didn't tell ANYONE, I don't think, so don't you guys go blabbing it. I'm not one for emotion and usually don't like to let people know what I'm feeling. I want people to see the strong part of me and not that week, vulerable side. So, in site or earshot of others, I smiled. I was fine. At night, I cried. AND CRIED.

With me spending so much time to myself, I have a lot of time to think about things and I think that those thoughts are what is making me emotional. (That, and the fact that I'm days away from Aunt Flow rearing her ugly head!)

Not to mention it's been one of those days when things just happen.

One of the boys wasted his entire bowl of Ramen Noodles on the floor today, now being the wonderful mom that I am, I let the dog clean it up.

The girl wasted her milk which she and the dog cleaned up.

I wasted the drippings from my steaks in the stove and one the floor, which the dog cleaned up.... not the stove part, of course.

Did I mention I don't have a MOP?? Nope, my clorox Ready Mop broke about 2 weeks ago. You can only imagine what my kitchen floor feels like!

What have I done the last week?
I've blogged,
read blogs,
did a search for a lens for my camera,
watched High School Musical 1 & 2 back to back with the kids,
took the dog for a walk,
accomplished 2 miles RUNNING on the treadmill,
pulled weeds in the front yard,
took the kids to an outdoor movie(where I'm so sure I lost my iPod, another reason to be emotional),
took the kids swimming,
and I think that might be it. It's certainly not that I haven't had anything to do, it's just that my routine is all screwed up and it's got my emotions out of whack.

I'm not one for sitting and watching chick flicks, but being at home alone has a way of bringing out the worse in a girl, so while we are having a free HBO weekend, I watched PS, I Love You. WHY did I do that? Stupid movie about a dead husband. What was I thinking?

After which, I went into the kitchen to get myself a drink, opened up the fridge only to find that Kool-Aid had been knocked over in the fridge.

I started feeling the tears wail up in my eyes...........

It's just one of those days.


Managed Chaos said...

You're not alone...I've so had those kind of days too. It hasn't helped that after my husband returned from a month away, he was severly jetlagged. It was like my huband never returned because he was always sleeping when we were home. Hopefully next week will be better for both of us.

Mocha Dad said...

We all have these days. I travel for work quite often and I understand your feelings of sadness and loneliness. I spent 3 weeks in Iraq last year so I was able to get a tiny glimpse of what your husband will experience. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Kristin said...

I'm so sorry that you've been feeling this way! I hope you know that we are always here to listen, so you can just be yourself with us! I have been having those days too lately....I just really don't like Aunt Flow at all! LOL!! I made the mistake of watching that movie too! Ha! I think you should just give yourself a break and if you want to be lazy for a few days until you feel better, then do that! You're a great Mom and I hope that you're feeling better soon!

Ms. Bar B: said...

I feel ya. Good thing to remember is that those days come and go... and that its ok to let them come and go. Its when they come and stay that things start not to be so fun, lol. Hang in there.... and, I'm sitting her looking at PS, I Love You sitting on top of my tv, haha.

Nap Warden said...

Thank goodness those days go. I'm having one now:P Here is to better days:)