I've spent many a days wondering why I am not more than what I am. And I've found that I'm exactly what I am supposed to be.
This is what I mean, truth is, unlike many other stay at home moms, I didn't set out, nor do I love the idea of being a SAHM. Don't get me wrong, I love the benefits of the job. I mean, who wouldn't absolutely love the idea of being able to stay home and not have to worry about the commute to work or the trouble it takes to get there? Getting the kids ready to be dropped off somewhere every single morning can be a hassle. I have the option to wake up early or sleep in (because my little angels almost always sleep late), and if I want, I don't ever have get out of my pajamas. Those are the some great perks to the job I have. I'm here when my boys get home from school. I'm the one that helps them with homework and projects. I'm the one that teaches Miss Missy the basics before she goes off to big kid school.
Believe me that's all fine and dandy, but I have dreams of my own, dreams that I have yet to fulfill because I want the best for my children.
For many years, I have struggled with the options I have before me. Hubs, of course, a is a Soldier. Because of this, it just seems easier to be home, we never know when he'll be working late, over night, have to spend week in the field, go TDY (temporary duty), or even be deployed. It just seems smart to be there when he can't be.
On the other hand, I always think that sometimes it may be greener on the other side, you know. Me having a career of my own, something, other than my kids to be proud of.
Recently, I came to the realization that the thing that I should be most proud of is having wonderful-well rounded children that are smart, respectful and beautiful. Now how much more fulfilling do I need. For them, I can wait on me.