Friday, September 12, 2008

I can't dance!

Good Morning! You know, exercise really does make your day go better. I did it. I got my butt up and worked out (if only for about 20 minutes) to The Firm Dance, given to me by my neighbor after a few complaints of being lazy. Well, this morning, the skinny b*itch looked extra skinny and I have to commend her because she stays faithful to working out as many times a week as she can.

Well she gives me this Dance DVD. Well, mind you, I have no rhythm. Nope can't dance. I don't care what color my skin is. All black people do not have rhythm!

So, I'm sitting here cracking up, trying to keep up with what so considers "the easy video". She was gonna give me another one, but she thought I should start with the once that was easy. HA!

The whole time I'm laughing my butt off, and if you could lose weight by laughing at yourself then I'd would lost at least ten pounds. I started off real good. I think by the time the chick on the video added the 5th step into her aerobics routine, I was all off beat and couldn't keep up. I'm all over the place. She kept switching right from one move to another, making a repetative routine as she went, just adding a new move in everytime.

Did I tell you that my memory is bad as well?

So she's going left, I'm going right.

She's going up. I'm going down.

She's doing some back curls and I'm still sliding to the left.

Don't ever ask me to join a dance group.

So when the chick decided to switch to the Latin routine, I fell on the floor. Always wanted to learn to salsa, but no rhythm, remember? Yeah, that was a sight. You kinda have to be able to keep a beat to dance.

Maybe I should try one of those walking workout videos. I can walk.


Okay, I hung out with some friends yesterday for a birthday party. So I get the the place where the surprise party is supposed to be held and I, of course, am late. So I'm rushing. Apparently the building is having two events at the same time.

Well I get to the door and the ushers there are telling me "Go ahead downstairs. Don't rush. It's okay." Well, as I'm about to start walking down, there's a group of black folk walking up.

So I turn back to the receptionist and and say "Is this where the birthday party is?"

She looks a little confused for a sec then says, "Sure sweety, go on down."

Another black couple comes up.

"Turn to her again." "The Dawson party?"

"You mean the surprise party?"


"Ohhh!" She says and directs me down another hallway.

Walking into the room full of people I was partying with, I was tickled by this event at the door. Why you ask? The room was filled with Caucasians, of course. The group down stairs was full of black people. I just thought is was hilarious that they all assumed that I'd be attending the event with the folks downstairs.

Don't know why. Hmmmmmmm. LOL!

So here are a few of stereotypes I wanna clarify:

* All Black people can dance. -- Uhhh NO! I prove that one wrong all the time. Those white chicks last night really showed me up when that DJ played the CHA CHA SLIDE!

* All Black people eat fried chicken. -- Personally I haven't met one yet who doesn't. I'm cutting back, though........ kinda. I got to the buffet last night and said "What! No Chicken???" Just Kidding.

* All Black people throw our kids out at 18. - - That one came from my neighbor, who asked me if that was true. Heck NO! My uncles are 45 and 50 something and still live with my grandma!

* All black men, well you know..... Okay, I know this to surely not be true from my younger years! So don't believe the hype!


BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I have seriously thought about buying one of The Firm DVDs on ebay lately as my booty needs to get in gear! (Especially before Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas...UGH). You are too funny. I'm sure I'd be laughing my butt off at myself, too!

And thanks for clearing that up about all black men...I always wondered. Ha! ;)

Diva Ma said...

LOL! Glad I could be of service.

~Sheila~ said...

You're right. Those are definately myths. I can't dance either and about the black men *ahem* I saw that it wasn't true in my younger years also.

egiffing said...

Ha ha, girl I wish I was thier to see you doing that video, hang in do it a few times you will get the hang of it, crap I did.
Oh as someone who grew up in a melting pot that last stero type is not true, as I too know from my younger years, poor poor man what a shame.