I'm asking...

I took the kids to church yesterday.  It had been a while. I actually hadn't been to church in... well, since Easter.  I have been doing a lot a running on the weekends and during the week and many times I just chose to use Sunday as a "day off" where I could sleep in and do a little resting because every other day in the week had me up and running around.

Poor excuse for not going to church, I know, but that's how I rationalized it.

So yesterday, I needed to go.  It wasn't a want.  It was something I needed.  Something my soul craved.

I have been doing a lot of praying lately because things in my life aren't where I want them to be.  I have been praying for direction, answers and signs of what I should do and which roads I should take.

Okay, so I'm not the most Christian person, but I do know who to thank when things are good and who to turn to for answers.

So I have asked God for guidance.  Now, I have also asked for CLEAR, CONCISE signs, because, seriously, I can be blind to them.  If they are round about or small signs, I might miss them completely. Right over my head.  And does anyone no how many times God will give you answers if you're not catching them??  Just a question.

So here I am wondering if he is giving me signs and I am just blind to them because I they are not the ones that I want to hear, or if the answers have just not come yet.  Because I know that the answers to your prayers may not come when you want them to, but they will be there right on time.

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So today is Memorial Day and I just wanted to make sure that I take out a moment to honor our Soldiers, past, present and fallen.  I have a Soldier in Iraq now and this day holds a new weight in my heart as I think about him being there is a combat zone with attacks and kidnaps and whatever else might be going on over there.  He has to be pretty brave to go over there and put himself in harms way to protect the freedom of America people that he doesn't even know.  Everyone doesn't have the balls for it, but he does.  And for that, he is my hero!

So don't forget to PRAY for SOLDIERS, POLICE OFFICERS AND FIREFIGHTER who give their lives for your freedom!

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joy... for the love of FRG.

Okay, it just so happens to be what feels like the hottest day in all of summer, but I'm sure that 85 degrees does not qualify as such down here in Georgia.  And guess what I have gone and gotten myself into.  I'll be bagging groceries at the Commissary this afternoon.  Yeah, me.  Bagging peoples groceries and hauling them out to folks cars... for tips.  joy.

As the Co-Leader of our FRG I couldn't very well say NO when the idea was thrown out there as a way to raise cash to put comfort items in the rooms of the single soldiers returning from Iraq with my husband in July.  I really REALLY wanted to NIX this fundraising idea in the BUTT (not bud) right away, because KAY doesn't do manual labor!  And Kay doesn't do SUN!  And because I just KNEW that I would end up being one of the MAIN ones expected to spend my Saturday out there bagging.  WHY?  Because no one in the brigade wants to volunteer to bag groceries for pennies in the hot sun!  Our FRG sucks, no participations what so ever.  And as the FRG Leader, I know this falls directly on me, but I have tried to get folks to come out, but they just don't wanna! About 2 months ago I gave up.  With 4 months left in the tour, I gave up on my FRG.  Yeah, I'm pitiful.

So here I am, off to bag groceries... in the sun...

joy.

Knockin' it out!

Up early, I really had all intentions of sleeping in this morning, here it is, before 10 and I'm up bloggin'.  It's my first official day of summer break.  The kids are sleeping and may be for a while since I let them stay up until 1am last night.  I KNOW!  Bad Mama.  But I was busy taking my college assessment test and they were quiet, so HEY!  Why not!

Yes COLLEGE.  I am officially a student at Kaplain University!

(insert applause here!)

Here I am 32 years old and I'm all excited about finally going back to school.  It's time to knock it out. I finally feel like I doing something for myself.  I skipped out on college back in the days and went almost straight into the family life and have always felt that something was missing.  I have always doubt myself when it came to going to school.  Never thought I was going to be able to do it.  I'm no scholar, you know?

How can I preach to my kids the importance of education if I didn't even do it myself?  One thing I try to teach them is that what's in your mind can never be taken away.  The older they get and the more that I preach it to them, the more I realize that I have to practice it.

So, say HELLO to Kay!  THE STUDENT!

(I took my assessment test last night and realized just how dumb I am in math.)

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So, I'm sitting in my room, surfing the net and hear the door chime beep and someone come into the house breathing hard.  Around the hall corner I see Cam and I go back to surfing.

Cam:  Ma, Just got another tooth knocked out.


He smiles.


I glance up and see a bloody mouth with a new black space where a tooth once was.


Me:  Baby tooth, right?


Cam:  Yep.


And I turn my attention back to my computer. No big deal. It was a baby tooth, right?  He was gonna lose it anyway....


Me: So what happened?


Cam, with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders, replies:   On the trampoline. 


And he walks into the bathroom to rinse.


Me:  Are any of your teeth going to come out naturally?


Cam:  NOPE!

If I'm not mistaken, the last 2 teeth were knocked out by his brother.  I later found out that his brother tripped him on the trampoline cause him to fall and knock this one out to.  I wonder what's going to happen when he runs out of baby teeth??

End of the year Honors

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I still have my Valentine roses sitting on the table in my foyer.  Of course, they are a little dead.  I probably would have thrown them away by now, but my best friend once told me that she thought that dead flowers were beautiful.

As the roses withered, I couldn't help but look at them and see that there is actually still a certain beauty to the dozen.  I know that they are not the typical vibrant blooms that they were when I received them, but their beauty of a rose doesn't fade.  Kinda like a woman.

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Future Pole Dancers of America! WOW!

Okay, so on the news this morning my 5 year hears Beyonce's song come on and hears the reporter say that 7 year olds are dancing and sees THIS:



And she say "SEVEN?!?!"

"Mama, those girls mamas are CRAZY!  They shouldn't be wearing that stuff!"

Summed up by a 5 year old!

WOW!

Random procrastination

I'm using today to just get some things done around the house. I have a lot to do as I look at all the junk that is laying around here.  I really just wanna have a yard sale, but I don't think that I have enough junk to put into it that would sale and make a wasted Saturday morning worth my time. Have you ever had a yard sale?  It takes preparation.  You can't just go out there in the morning and start dragging stuff out and say, "Here!  What's your price?"

I do want to get rid of my living room furniture. I have had it for 11 years now and it use to be an off-white color.  Well, you can imagine, 3 kids later, it's not exactly.... nice anymore.

I can't seem to sit down long enough to get through Eclipse.  And if the movie comes out soon, I'll be mad.  Because I can't see it until I finish the book.

I need to workout today. I wanna take a run, but I'm afraid that I won't be as good at it as I want to be.

I want to get my nails done.  I haven't had a manicure in 3 years.  I think it's time.

And I'd love a pedicure.  Why not?  I mean, really.  Who doesn't get their nails done?  That's one thing that I would love to be able to keep up on myself. I don't go get my hair done, so why not my nails?  I already have old looking hands.  they are all wrinkly and stuff. I think I get those from my mom.  If nothing else is wrinkled on that woman it is her hands.  And I got them.  How do I cure that problem?  Hmm, time to do some research!

Wonderful weekend ahead.  I need to go shopping.

Okay, now that I have procrastinated this morning, I have to get to work.  Decide on what needs to be done most and what needs to be done first.

Here's my list.

Mop floors
Wash car
Run a mile
Fold laundry
Vacuum house
Clean garage
Drop off Hub's car at the shop.
Stop by Lowe's to find a piece for my broken garage door.

And it's already, 9 o'clock.  Y'all I don't think I can get all of this done by 2.

Always running around.

I really hope all of you moms out there had a Fabtabulous Mother's Day!

Me, eh... it was a day.  Yesterday, I spent the day with a friend who helped me to get enrolled in some online classes

(cue applause here)

Yes, starting really soon, I will be enrolling in my next phase of education and the next phase on my list to a better me.

I told you guys that THIS is my year.  2010.  I plan to give it all I got!

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I had all intentions of participating in Run a Mile with Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.  I wanted to put in a mile all three days.  I failed.  I put in a mile on Saturday Morning on my treadmill.  One time. I kept putting it off but ended up with some time on Saturday morning when Miss Missy's cheer coach called to cancel because her daughter was sick.  I was happy to hear that. Games on Saturday start at 10.  Of course we are suppose to be there a half hour early.  And of course it takes place on the other side of town.  So I wasn't too sad to hear of the cancellation.  Instead I got up and did that mile on the treadmill that I had been putting off. It still takes me forever to get through an entire mile.... running the whole way.  11 minutes.  That's terrible. I'm shooting for 8, so I have to get to practicing more.  It's doable, right?

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Y'all I am so thrilled with the things that the military had put in place for the spouses this past week.  With Military Spouse Appreciation, there were TONS of activities FREE for the spouses all week long.  I ran around all week!  I took a car care class.  And of course the house back riding.  There were free lessons at the shooting range.  And golf.  There were a lot of things going on and I didn't get to participate in everything I wanted to do, but I thought they did a wonderful job of organizing this week.  I ended the week with another free event on Saturday geared toward families of deployed Soldiers. The local Y opened it's doors with a day of free activities, games, food, and water park to Military Families.  Operation Augusta Cares did their thang!  The kids had a ball!

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It's one of those days where I'd rather be sleeping, but I feel like that it just not an option.  I know that I need to get up, but I didn't get enough sleep this weekend. I think I'm going to put in a mile to get my energy up.  Then I have a butt load of cleaning to do.  I suck at being a domestic and Hubs told me a few says ago that's it's time for me to start looking for a job.  Staying at home was fun while it lasted, but I'm all for working and finding my independence.  He ain't saying nothing but a word! I'm all on it!

Spring Fever!

I'm feeling extra good about myself these days. I told myself at the beginning of the year that 2010 is going to be MY YEAR!  I knew that I needed to make some changes and here we are in May and the one big change that I have made is becoming healthier.  More fit. I'm proud of myself just for sticking to working out.  It has not come easy or quick, but it is coming along.

I'm a little worried though.  My bras seem not to fit right anymore. I may be losing some of my boobage.

Not so Double Dish anymore.

 Not sure how to feel about that. I  like the idea that they feel a little less heavy, but I'd prefer not to lose too much of them as I continue to workout. My bras are not fitting as well around my back.  Good thing for me, not so good for my budget, as I have to buy more bras....

or sew...

but probably just by more bras.   LOL!


I don't think anyone knows how much I love the spring!  There is nothing like this time of year coming in and just being able to buy all these clothes in fabulous bright colors.  I love to have the kids in bright colors that stand out.  It's just amazing to go in the closet and pull out things other than browns and blacks and reds.  


And SHOES!  I love open toe shoes.  There was a time when I didn't. A time when I only wore tennis shoes.  Even to the pool, but now, I don't really care that I have sausage toes!  And I don't care that they are not manicured by the Korean's at Pimp My Nails on the corner.  I love to wear cute shoes!


I'm so different than I once was.  I'm so much more of a girl. I love jewelry and purses and shoes.  I was never like this before.  Don't know that Hubs likes it much for finanial sake, but I SURE LOOK CUTE!  LOL!  Have a fabulous Spring!

inches are good

Okay, I try not to discuss my weight much because I don't wanna make a huge issue out of it. I like to think that I am beautiful no matter what size I am at, but the fact of the matter is that it is still a huge part of my daily thought process. 

I have done very well.  I am more working on changing my lifestyle and not trying to worry about a "diet" of any kind. I just look at what I am eating more and working out.  Anything is more in that department because I have never donethe working out thing before this year.

So, these are the jeans that my aunt got me for Christmas.  They are a size 14.  I wore them on Christmas and they FIT, to say the least.  I mean, they were pretty snug in the waste.

This is what they look like on me today.

Now, although I have only lost about 7 lbs according to the Wii Fit, I feel like a weight loss champ when I see that my clothes are not fitting like I they were.

I have a WAY simmer waist line and shhhh......

 I'm not as ashamed to take those seductive pics for the deployed hubby as I once was!  Hee hee!

A case of the YOU's!

Okay, I'm not a perfect person and I accept that about myself.

One thing about disagreements between Hubs and I is that he is so good at telling me what my faults are.

Now, often times I have to agree with him.

I DO have a bad attitude, which he is constantly calling my BIG attitude problem.

I AM moody.

I DON'T handle the finances well.

I'm NOT the best communicator.

When we have a discussion about us, these are the things that I constantly have to hear.

My faults.  Do you know how hard it is to listen to someone go on and on about what is wrong with you for the duration of the conversation?

I mean, in these discussions, I don't deny that these things are not a problem.  But I don't like the idea that the finger is always being pointed at me as these things being the reason that something is not right.  I don't like to have to sit and listen to my faults being thrown in my face.

I know they are my faults and I accept that.  I try not to throw people's faults in their face and I hate when mine are constantly brought up as the reason for everything bad.

How should I look at this?  Accept my faults and move on?  Or change who I am?

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On a lighter note, here is Cam's Birthday Cake for his Super Awesome Army/Water party!

I rode a HORSE!

There are tons of things in life that I'd like to do.

Does everyone have that list?

"Things I'd like to do before.."

There are a lot of things that I'd like to do and today I got to cross one of those things off my list.

I went horseback riding.

I've always wanted to try it.  I mean, I love animals, so why not??

This is Military Spouse Appreciation Week and the good people of our base have a whole week of awesome activities lined up for the spouses to take advantage of.

Today was Horseback riding and I was excited.  At least until I got there. I took one look at those horses and I sat in the car, seconds away from restarting the engine and hightailing it out of there, y'all!  I was scared.  Scare of falling off.  Scare of look dumb.  Not sure what I was scare of, but I was all nerves.  But I got out!

And I got on Ruby.  She was beautiful.

And I'm so sure that she knew I was nervous because she was teasing me in the very beginning before the tour buy moving around a lot.  She was fidgety.  But on the trail, she was so calm and so easy going.  It almost seemed like she kept glancing back at me to make sure I was doing good.

But after a few minutes, riding that horse was a breeze.  Felt like I'd been doing it for a long time.  I could have stayed on her for hours!

So there.  I did something pretty awesome.  I tried something new.  And this isn't going to be my last time doing it!

Friends Schmiends!

Okay, so today was also a weird day as I ran into a blast from the past.

It's a long story, but I'mma try to get it all out before I have to be off to a dreaded Chuck E. Cheese .

Fred was my best friend in high school for years until he and his family moved away.  And we were just that.  Friends.  We would spend hours joking and playing on the phone, and even when I was on a punishment, he was the only person that my mom would let me talk to or would let visit.  He knew everything about me and I knew everything about him.  When he left I was hurt.  I even concocted an imaginary friend name Fred as his replacement who I kept all through 12th grade.  LOL!  Crazy I know, but I was a clown and my friends got a kick out of "Fred".  LOL!

The real Fred and I lost contact and life moved on.  I always referred to him as one of my best friends.  

ON THE OTHER HAND, I always said that MEN AND WOMEN CAN'T BE FRIENDS.  This is a statement I made all the time. A statement I lived by. I have always believed that if a man and a woman are friends, SOMEBODY will eventually start catching feeling.  Except with me and Fred, I always said.  He was a true friend to me.

So, a few years after I moved here from Germany, I was in Kmart and Olan Mills Photography was set up at the front of the store trying to get people signed up to take pictures.  I stopped to have a look and I see a picture of Fred and a woman that I assumed was his wife.

WOW!  I was SHOCKED!  I mean, I had no idea he was in the same place as me and I was so excited!  I went home and searched the phone book and found a few Fred K's.  So I called them, ALL OF THEM, and when I got to the entry that said Fred and Keisha K. I called, asked for Keisha, stated my case and who I was looking for, middle name and all and Low and Behold.... it was him!

Wow! I talked to his wife and asked her if it was okay with her if he called and she was so cool and had already heard about me and knew that he and I went to school together.  She even knew how Fred has stopped talking to me back in the days because his girlfriend told him she didn't want us to be friends anymore.  She and I became pretty cool. I talked to her often, went to visit, met their kids.  It was so good to have my old friend back in my life.  While Hubs was in Korea last time, Fred's younger brother and sister were killed in a fatal car crash.  Of course, I was there for him, for his mom, and for his family.  Fred would call me there after about how sad he was. He stopped by one day because he worked close by.  As we sat and talked the conversation changed and things got a little uncomfortable as he told me that he had always had a crush on me.  I sat there with my mouth open as my best friend slipped away from me.  For me, that was the end of that.  I was so disappointed that I couldn't allow myself to see him anymore and I pretty much just dropped him from my life.  Didn't answer phone calls from him or his wife anymore and eventually I changed my number (for other reasons) and never put his number in my new phone.

So today, I get to Kennedy's game and i see the team from the Y that we were playing was on the field.  Who do I see?  Fred!  I was so thrilled to have my Hater Blockers (dark sunglasses) because with my face covered I was hiding.  Well the game went on and he didn't see me. I noticed that Keisha was sitting on the other bleachers, out of eyesight, didn't see me at all.

The game ended and I took a mad dash to field 2 where Cam's team would be playing. I knew that I would have to face the situation soon, but today I was not ready to.

I get to the other field, still wearing my hater blockers and I breathed a sigh of relief.  I was on the phone with my BFF and telling her about our old friend and how I didn't want to be seen.  I look up only to see Fred and his HUGE crew crossing the field to the same side.  DANG!  How many kids he GOT???  He was coaching the team playing Cam as well!  

Keisha went and sat on the bleachers so I stayed on the side where the players were sitting and took pictures.  i noticed him looking at me from the field like he was trying to figure out if it was me or not, but I hid behind my camera and Hater Blockers.  I also noticed that Keisha kept looking in my direction.  I was actually the only one in that space she could have been looking at because I was the only one on that side in that corner of the field.  After the game, she walked by like she didn't see me.  

I knew Fred saw me, but after the game was over, he walked almost right in between the coach and me and acted as if he didn't notice me at first, took a step back and gave me that, "Is that YOU?" look.  He said smiled said hello, then spoke to the man that was standing next to me, shook his hand and said, "Fred."  He thought it was Hubs!  LOL!  He kept it moving, probably for lack of knowing what to say or what I had told my husband about him.

So, I know I have to face this with Keisha, and I wonder what he has told her about why I disappeared the way that I had.  I'm sure she's pissed with me for disappearing without an explanation and probably a bit suspicious.  Next game, I'm sure they will be out there somewhere.  I'm not sure how to approach it.  How to answer the questions. I'm still pissed at Fred for crossing that line and destroying my trust in us as friends.  Maybe I'm over reacting.  He was just being honest, while I was being delusional and not going by my own words.  

MEN AND WOMEN CANNOT BE FRIENDS.   

Team Sports... It's ON Again!

The lawn guy came today and took care of my over grown lawn.  Well the back was really overgrown with weeds.  The front, not so bad.  But all the same, Hubs did a great thing when he decided to set up a guy to come and mow the grass during this deployment.

It was more of a lesson learned, I suppose, because I did tell him that the boys and I could take care of it, but I think after his last one year tour and coming home to a dead lawn, he decided it best to have someone else come in and get the job done.

Now I did offer to do it, to save some money.  All while twirling my hair and asking where the gas would go in that weed thingy and how exactly do you turn on a push mower.  LOL!

LAWN GUY NEEDED!

Okay, so it's back to spring.  Actually, today it feels more like summer.  The humidity has kicked in and I was about to pass out by just standing outside to tell the lawn guy what I wanted done.  So, yeah, me... mowing the grass.... not a good idea.

This morning we had games for Cam and Miss Missy.  Miss Missy's team was first, thank goodness, because this little lady is like her mommy. So not for the heat, dirt and bugs.  The cheerleading thing is sure not to be her forte.

She simply oozes with excitement!  NOT!

LOL!

So Cam is playing flag.  He doens't like it. I promise you they are not playing kids that are their age.  Thursdays team had kids that HAD to me 9 and 10 year olds rather than 7 and 8.  They were huge!  And fast!  And seasoned!  They looked like they had been playing for YEARS!  They had plays while our kids just went for the ball.   Needless to say, they kicked our BUTTS!

So today, the teams that played after us were for the next age group up.

And who do we see walking onto the field but the team we played on Thursday!  I KNEW I should have asked for birth certificates!

Today's team was much close to our size, but still kicked our butts!  LOL!