Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Mommy Perfection By My Own Standards

I never really started off aiming to be a mom. I had so many other ideas for life that motherhood seemed that it would have just gotten in the way. For me, it was dreams of an Airforce career, being independent, taking care of myself. Wow, long way off from where I stand today. Today I'm a mother of three, wife to an Army soldier and a, get this, STAY AT HOME MOM!

Big changes from the dreams of a kid, never experiencing anything. Only thinking of my own happiness. Not knowing about the monkey wrench that would be thrown into my life plans.

Becoming a mom at 20 surely wasn't on that "Things to do before I turn 25" list. But it happened. I was young, married and away from home for the first time. As a matter of fact, I was as far away from home as a young person could get as I follow my new husband off to Germany, still thinking how kids were going to be far off in the future somewhere.

But my little dumpling and other plans, and when he made his debut to the world a few months after our first annerversary and a few days before the turn of the Millenium, he change my whole perception on life. Imagine my surprise when I fell in love with someone other than myself. I wanted to be that perfect mom for him, doing everything right and by the book. Breastfeeding, reading all these "First Year" books, and playing classical music and educational videos to stimulate his little mind. I made it a point to always listen to his doctor on when to do this and how to do that. I took much of mom's advice as well, but thought, she couldn't possibly have more knowledge than an MD. on what was best for my little dumpling, 3 kids or not.

Everything sterilized, no cereal before 6 months, and never ever could he sleep on his stomach.

Funny how things change. When babies number two and three came along, the love was no different. But mommy was. Some things just didn't seem that pressing. Bottles didn't have to be sterilized for 5.5 minutes, passies did sometimes return back into baby's mouth after falling on the floor without being washed, the expensive diapers somehow didn't seem to hold leaks better, the baby did sometimes sleep on his or her stomach because the baby slept better (and, in turn, so did mommy), and no the baby was not required to have a t-shirt under his or her clothes and a pair of socks on at all times.

I realized that no matter how perfect of a mother I wanted to be, there just wasn't any one out there who is can be absolutely perfect. Though I still strive to be a fabulous mom to my kids, I do fabulous in my own way. I don't spoil them with toys, I don't let them go to every event they want to go to, I don't let them say what ever they please as a way to give them freedom of expression.

Eight years into this motherhood thing, I still stive to be a great mom, doing PTO, chaperoning field trips, running children around from one after-school activity to another, yes, but most importantly, I strive to keep my kids well round and respectful, I teach them responsibilty and values. Being a perfect mom doesn't mean you have to be a June Cleaver, it simply means that you be the best mom you can be for the ones you love the most.


Rachel said...

I saw your blog from mamakatslosinit...I totally feel you on the parenting thing. I too was a mommy at the age of 21; now 9years later I have a 9 y/o boy and 3 y/o girl; wouldn't change that for anything! At this stage I am working in a career I definately didn't set out to do in life and would enjoy an opportunity to be with them daily. Until then; I do the best I can. I'm sure your a great mom; you have beautiful kids too!

Diva Ma said...

Thanks for stopping by. I think we all do the best we can, working or not. Sometimes I long to be in a career even now, but I do what's best for us at this time. Hey, they way I see it, they're still alive and healthy after all these years, right? We have to be doing something right!

Carrie said...

thanks for the comment! It was nice to know someone stopped by. I meant to post the directions. Nice catch. Here is the link
I will keep checking your blog. Keep up the great mommy work. I can't wait for kids to happen for my husband and I.